How To Tame The Comparison Beast

Do you often compare yourself unfavourably to people? It’s easy to do. You might have been conditioned to at school, perhaps in your family, at work, and certainly through ads. Now, with ever-present, tricky-to-resist social media, it’s easier than ever to compare yourself and feel lacking or less than against crafted imagery and sophisticated PR.

But “Comparison is the thief of joy”, Theodore Roosevelt said, so it’s time to get serious about protecting your joy. To do this, you need to be aware when you’re comparing and you need to change your thinking. This sounds like a lot, and it is if comparing unfavourably is a lifelong habit. But the benefits to you are huge – to your goals and your happiness.

Here are a few moves to tame the comparison beast.

1. Be wise

Whether it’s a toned beach babe, a successful business owner, or a super in charge mum, you don’t know the efforts, time and energy they’ve devoted to achieve their success. Or the hurdles they’ve jumped. Also remember, you don’t have full insight into their daily challenges or a crystal ball to see their future challenges. Undeniably, they’re human too. Equally, you don’t always know what resources someone’s had to enable their success. Maybe they have been more fortunate than you in some ways. Either way, there’s no point comparing unfavourably because the result is the same – you feel bad and stuck. The comparison that will make you feel good and propel you forward is looking at the progress you’ve made towards your goals.

2. Be smart

Stay in your lane. Focus on your goals, your progress, your strengths, your service. If you need a pep up, remind yourself of your skills and accomplishments – both personal and professional. If these positives aren’t free flowing, draw on a compliment to give yourself a boost. Make a consistent effort to direct your head space and time to your important goals and to the people you love. If social media is triggering you, step away. And why not be inspired and motivated by the success of the person you’re comparing yourself to. Do they do something well you could incorporate into your life? For example, their work efficiencies, marketing strategy or consistent exercise routine. Channel this in your way, at your level. Could you even learn from them directly? As well as being informative, you might find this person’s very likeable (and of course, not perfect).

3. Be kind

To yourself. Self-compassion is an important skill, especially when social comparison has left you feeling flat or lacking confidence. Be your own best friend with how you talk to, encourage and comfort yourself. And absolutely do not berate yourself for comparing! Everyone compares. Don’t forget gratitude. It’s a practice worth practicing. Thinking of or writing down a few things you’re grateful for will help take your mind off others’ good fortune and instead appreciate your own.

>>> Coaching can help you tame that comparison beast! Contact me and we can start with a chat. Emma :-)