5 Ways To Ditch Negative Assumptions

Assumptions. I’ve made a few … I’ve guessed (and guessed and guessed) about office politics, only to learn I could never have imagined what was at play. And it had nothing to do with me. I’ve quickly judged social occasions to be hard work and have left with new friends, life-shaping recommendations and a healthy dose of surprise and humility. And as for medical self-diagnosis, well, say ahhh if you’re with me!

Uncertainty can plunge the mind into all kinds of threatening, made-up scenarios and suddenly you’ve produced a feature-length film inside your head. Unfortunately, instead of a delightful comedy, often it’s the heavier stuff we’re engrossed in – High Drama or Psychological Thriller, styled in Black and White, just like our thinking.

Here are 5 ways to manage negative assumptions so you can swiftly wrap up production and return to the real scenes in your life.

1. Challenge your assumption

Objectively observe the assumption you’re making and question its strength. What facts prove it to be true? What facts prove it to be false? Are there other answers or alternative scenarios instead of the one you’ve assumed? Have a soothing, rational conversation with yourself, just as you would with a good friend.

2. Try some humility

Revisit the situation through a humble lens. If your assumption is based on an interaction with someone, remember you’re only guessing about the motives behind their behaviour. They might be preoccupied or having a tough day. The work situation you’re making assumptions about could involve several complex elements you’re unaware of. And, if you’re making an assumption without the necessary expertise or knowledge, it may be helpful to recognise your lack of credentials.

3. Distract yourself

From uninformed musings. Be mindful of your negative assumption and try to redirect your precious mental and emotional energy for the people who need you and the situations that are happening right now. Use your energy to be present and generous in your relationships and productive and creative at work. To help you relax, do something that’s pleasant and engaging: a walk in the park, reading, time with your pet, catching up with a friend.

4. Seek clarity

If it’s appropriate, ask your best source to refute or confirm your negative assumption. If that’s not possible, or an answer will take some time, share your assumption with someone you trust who can listen and respond objectively. You might also find it empowering to list what you do know for certain.

5. Be confident you can handle what’s ahead

Sometimes a negative assumption might come true. If there are many signs you’re right, you should plan and prepare where possible. But, importantly, reassure yourself that if your assumption is correct, you can handle it. You’ve dealt with challenges before and can do it again – with extra insight, experience and skills; as well as your natural strengths. If you need a reminder of your resilience and ability to adapt, take a look at your history: relationships, work, study, health. See what you’ve achieved, the obstacles you’ve overcome, and the experiences you’ve learnt and grown from.